 |
| Photo by MKR and Channel 7 |
MKR Rundown - Episode 2
Mitch and Laura are brother and sister from the Mornington Peninsula. Laura is a little nervous. Hideous hairdo's for these siblings. They know it too... yet they leave it as it is. Fair enough, do what you dig I guess.
They shoot off to the shops pretty quickly. The chat seems strangely uncomfortable considering they are siblings. Must be the presence of the cameras watching everything they say. Your Mum might be watching...
They are looking for beautiful cuts of venison at the butcher. Good place to look I would say. Coles don't stock venison last time I checked. "Our titles on the menu are kinda simple, because..." because your kinda simple too? I think so. We cut to Manu telling Pete about venison and Pete does his crazy paleo eyes. Coles... I think all they went there for was cherries. I would have gone to the fruit shop guys. Coles cherries are shite.
"We walk into the kitchen, and the first thing we see is a ticking clock"... seems legit. Mitch stacks wood in the dining room and Laura puts grass on the table. Looks awful. Laura gives a fairly accurate description of Zana the lawyer witch. Laura knows what's what.
The kids setup the ice cream maker and get excited when they open the knife set. Their mum enters to make sure they don't cut themselves.I get the impression that these kids can cook. How boring for a blog. Burn something please.
Zana is dying because her Valentino's are getting dirty as she walks down the drive way. My wife is in love and would probably cut Zana just above the hoof to get her hands on those shoes.
The doorbell rings and the producers can't get the kids to overreact about it. It's the first ad. I'm struggling for content guys. "Wanted" looks like it has potential. Rebecca Gibney got a job which is nice. Stephen Peacocke did too, not so nice.
I would normally be using ad time to clean up the first stint of the post, but I find myself watching the ads. Not a good night for MKR. These kids are going to do a good job. I think I might start picking on contestants.
We come back from the break and see lots of animals. Sheep, koalas and then they show Zana. Yep. Thats right, I am going to go full bitch on this lawyer ho.
The dining room must stink! Pine shit everywhere. The cops are nervous and then they meet the lawyers. Zana instantly offends the cops by calling them horrific. Who is she going to call when one of her clients decides he doesn't like the job she is doing and kidnaps her and tortures her while her husband watches. Hey? Who is she going to call? The cops. She sucks!
The judges arrive, and again, to the dismay of the judges the kids don't get overly excited. Everyone seems impressed with the menu except the Zana. The SA ladies are a classic. There is a bit of chat about some termites walking across the table. Little do they know they had just escaped Zana's wooden heart.
SA woman and Manu make a bet that the entrée will be served in a smoke filled cloche, almost like she had seen the ads for it.
They serve the dish and it looks epic. Everyone is astounded by the presentation. I told you these kids can cook. Oh God, they forgot to add the jus! Zana is going to have something shitty to say about that!
And we're back. Mitch and Laura are tense. Turns out Laura has been a bit of a jus.
Manu is soooooo impressed. It's just gorgeous... "but there is a but". Manu noticed the Jew, or was it the Jus? Pete goes on about ticking boxes or something. We think its a bad thing and then he gets all Petey Creepy and explains that the dish was kinda shit. Zana tells us about it. Her teeth hurt. Maybe shut up then! "I'm really upset about my meat" says Zana. The guy sitting next to her looks down towards his bits and seems embarrassed. Zana doesn't like pig, but she likes acting like a massive pig. She then goes on to tell us she doesn't "want pig taste in my mouth." Again, the guy next to her looks at his pants and looks embarrassed.
This weather lady kills me with her hand gestures. You aren't presenting a prize on The Price Is Right woman! It's the weather. Please!
A trip to the NT seems like a nice thing to do.
The wild boar is overcooking, and I don't mean Zana is getting angry. Hey, hey. *Nudge nudge*
One of the police ladies tells the fakest story I have heard alive about fluffy handcuffs, almost like she saw a movie about it. She is a BAD liar.Back in the rented kitchen, the entrée jus was forgotten and now the main jus has been murdered. Again Manu, you will get no jus.
They serve mains. Cheryl says "It's not as theatrical as the first course" but then Hugh Jackman jumps out from behind the bushes and does his best Peter Alan impression, so all good.
That was a quick set between ads. *Twiddles thumbs*
The Northern Territory looks nice again.
We are forced to watch a Commonwealth bank Can moment before we get back to the show. Pete is pleased with the dish, needs some work. But he is pleased. I have no idea what Manu is saying. I need French accent lessons. I hear the words, carrot, puree, amazing food. Even then I can't be sure they are the words he actually spoke.
Back in the kitchen kids and sort out your dessert while the Zana Valentino-wearing hoof lady does her shitty human stuff. Laura tries to temper her own chocolate. My wife suggests some amazing ideas on how to warm the bench.
The cougar and her man child tell everyone about their kissing technique and Matt looks like he wants to make out with his mum.
Laura is getting the "chocolate feels" apparently, I tend to agree. It looks good. I'm pretty sure she calls Mitch a bitch. But I can't be sure. Mitch describes how he was able to delicately turn a tray upside down... it really wasn't that hard.
Dessert looks fully sick. Fully sick wouldn't be a term these two have used before. Laura tries to describe her melting ice cream. It's soup, like soup, like really soup. Hang on no, it's more like soft serve ice cream apparently. No, it's sloppy ice cream. I can't keep up. Take me to an ad please Channel 7. Thank you.
"Dessert is served"
Zana is disappointed again. Big fucken surprise!
Manu taps his chocolate. I think he is trying to say he wants to tap that. Cheeky bugger Manu. I know what you're all about Frenchy!
Mitch reckons he had a fiddle in the kitchen. Alrighty then. Pete couldn't fault it, except the ice cream. Almost perfect dish for Pete. Manu said it was in fact perfect though.
Manu goes on a bit, essentially he is saying that he is a fatty and he loves dessert, so it's no surprise that he didn't care about the runny ice cream. The kids go back to the kitchen and Laura loses her shit. Matt and his mum like the dessert. Zana stabs herself in the eye and does us all a favour by removing herself from the competition after realising she is a massive bitch. The guy next to her tries not to laugh at her display of self mutilation. The rest of the lady contestants pounce and fight to take the Valentino's off her lifeless corpse.
Teams will now give their 3 course meal a score out of 10:
SA ladies give them a 9
Cougar and man child - 8
Mother and son - 9
Zana and the dude with her - 8
Copper ladies - 7 - Strategic. Obvious.
Sub total - 41/50
"It's judgement time"
Pete does his intro, who cares.
Entree: smoked venison - Manu 6 - Pete 7
Main: not so roasted wild boar - Manu 8 - Pete 8
The kids are killing it!
Dessert: black forrest cake - Manu 10 - Pete 9
Well Christ in a croquembouche - Grand Total of 89/100 Wowzers!
No comments:
Post a Comment