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| Image thanks to MKR and Channel 7 |
I know you are probably thinking last time I checked 5 came after 4. You're not crazy, this is still the case. I missed the blog last night. I needed to be fresh to handle Zana tonight. So lets do this. Never have I wanted to see someone fail so badly as I do tonight.
So GZee are cooking tonight and the intro is a montage of the the contestants hating on the hosts. As much as I hate these two, they have good taste. They get in a white Carrera which matches their kitchen nicely. They are still a pair of cockheads.
"I'm a bit of a ball breaker" states Zana. Gianni doesn't argue with her. Evil Zana couldn't handle using a standard cow liver. So they make sure the liver comes from a baby cow instead. The horn gets stuck on Gianni's expensive Volkswagen and he looks kind of embarrassed by it.
The dining room is swanky, but it would want to be considering how these two have been talking. I can't imagine that these two hired their kitchen, though I wouldn't be surprised. It's a NICE kitchen. Did I mention that? "It's too hard" says Zana, as she kneads her dough. I feel like it isn't a term that Gianni has heard before. Zana plays with her balls and unfortunately they turn into a very nice looking filo pastry. Damn, I hope she burns the pita. Gianni starts slicing baby livers.
We come back from the ad and Zana is stressing about the pita still.
The guests are walking the streets of Brighton to the devil house. "God they are looking gorgeous!" Says Jordan in his campest possible voice. They called their restaurant Monte Nero as it is an Italian translation of Montenegro. Why didn't they just call it Montenegro? Anyway, let's not dwell on common sense too much.
There is a word that I try not to use in public, and rarely behind close doors either. But if Zana doesn't stop being one I might not be able to help it. Manu looks pretty suave in his tux. He looks like he was born wearing it.
I suspect by the blue bandaid on Zana's hand that she will lose consciousness at any moment from all the blood loss.
The hand gesture weather updates are provided in the break.
Albanian pita with beetroot hummus.
"I have to say that I am devastated that I don't have any more to eat" damn you Manu!!! Damn YOU!
It's perfect apparently. That's what she needs, more confidence. Credit where it is due I guess. Those around the table that are complaining about the salt and the garlic in the dish are obviously eating the wrong food.
Here is a good tip for everyone "If you can't handle the heat, don't marry an Albanian".
With all their love for themselves, GZee screw up the breadcrumbs. That's right, they struggle to dry some bread.
Ah shit, they didn't screw up the breadcrumbs. They really are a perfect couple of assholes aren't they. I am having flashbacks to when my grandmother would trick me into eating liver by telling me it was chicken schnitzel. I want to vomit. I hate liver.
The SA ladies mix up Albanians and albino's. They all laugh hysterically.
Manu loves the liver. Everyone is mortified.
"I love liver!" announces Paige from SA. "Yes" says the other one from SA. Manu is taken aback.
Other stuff happens and we get to discussing police officers eating doughnuts. There is concern around the lack of the letter 's' in the dessert part of the menu. "Just one doughnut?"
Switch Therapy looks like an interesting show.
Bernie Sanders for president! #feelthebern
I have never been so interested in American politics.
The test doughnuts are a little bit under cooked. The plating of the dessert is nice. Served with an espresso shot. "One doughnut, like one boob" says Paige with some of that whit we have come to know her for.
Peter and Manu like it again. Could be some big scores tonight. Again, very annoying, but they did a very good job.
Manu doesn't like the fact that they skimped on the chocolate. It was too sweet for the dessert. Should have used a better chocolate. Manu and his freakin desserts!
The coppers are happy with their doughnuts. Jordan wanted more doughnut.
The guests score out of a possible 10:
Oh hang on, no they don't. It's the last episode for this group, so they need to travel to a warehouse somewhere I guess.
It's a fancy looking warehouse. I think it isn't a warehouse.
Time to reveal the scores
Entree - Pita and hummus - Manu 10 - Pete 10 - Holy shit, top of the board for sure.
Main - Baby livers - Manu 9 - Pete 10
Dessert - Doughnuts (wog style) - Manu 8 - Pete 8
Guest combined score of 42/50
Grand total of 97 - Zana can't do maths as she admits.
Cheryl and Matt are disappointed. See ya guys!
New group tomorrow. Stay tuned!
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